the best thing that ever happened to me keeps on happening

i remember the first day of public school
apprehension and fear
i watched as her confidence with these new experiences and routines took over

grade six is done - poof - over

congratulations breanna

i am very proud

she is a good and consistent student
she does well in the classroom and is able to demonstrate her knowledge for tests and projects

she leads, follows, truly enjoys helping others and does well with responsibility

she's navigating the world of friendship with the philosophy "to have a good friend you need to be a good friend"

she has a great sense of humour
and i find her thinking inside and outside of many boxes

she is so easy going and composed it makes a twitchy emotional creature like me a little nervous
my daughter is what they call an old soul
a beautiful old soul little girl

without expectation and without exception my daughter
you can "do " anything you want

you are smart enough beautiful enough compassionate enough strong enough creative enough able to learn and able to fit in while maintaining your sense of self - you have proven all these things at home and at school

all the tools are there - you can "do" whatever you want with your life

doing is fine
but being is crucial

most of all baby
you be you
i love who you are
be yourself
be proud be humble be careful be real

be happy in this crazy world

nothing ever stays the same
even wonderful you
always growing learning living

your life will teach you lessons i could never have dreamed to share with you

be brave go with change and have faith in yourself

i am so lucky
i love you to the moon and back again
as long as i'm living my baby you'll be

you make me the greatest thing i could ever have been - dad

carpe diem - congratulations

always and forever

dad xo

pussy beatings

sweet jimmy says: "that's no way to treat pussy - a little rough now an then is ok but come on johnny"

Air Show - Cobourg 2006

thanks to coworker David K Chambers for mentioning the show

sweet jimmy swinghamer and juanita perverto

mmmmmm

pretty girl with banana

my monkey man

my monkey man

come down from that tree

spread my legs

like wings of love

and make monkey love to me

let's play guess the co-worker

this is what happens when you leave your digital camera unattended where i work - guess who it is - BONUS - i'll give you a dollar if you can tell me why she's smiling - HINT - who has june 27 tattooed on their gums - owww

the firefly hunters

answers

only one answer

can take care of all our questions

love

life is cheap

shine on

i've seen fire flies before...magical little bastards...twinkling and floating and disappearing...but last night

last night leaves me searching for words

perverto and i got our funk on with some organic chai tea and psilocybin - then we got on our bikes and set ourselves free into the cool night air - gliding and riding - tires humming - effortless over the smooth pavement chasing our shadows beneath the orange streetlights - freaky treacherous in the dark on dirt pathways - racing and chasing gliding and riding - floating on two wheels

our serum canabinol levels were getting low when perverto spotted a path behind an unfinished house - after doping a little smoke we decided to follow that path downhill and into the abyss

we met a few fireflies floating about along the path and tried to catch a couple which is fun but

no easy task with a head full of hallucinogens

in the dark we found a new path - a steep downward type thing that delivered us to another world - a silent meadow - no breeze no lights no sound - just us and hundreds of fire flies

the more we looked into the dark expanse before us the more fireflies we could see - in the distance - right beside us - unrelenting and beautiful - sparkling jewels in the night blinkle-ing and twinkling - one of those awe inspiring moments in time - a gift

like a picture to be hung on god's refrigerator door

touch me where?

I think you like that she says
I think you like me liking that he says
You’re kinky she says
You're a pervert he says
I know she says
They laugh...sex pirates

hells angels give it to you straight up

"As lies become universal,

the truth becomes revolutionary

-Real Deal News -

brought to you by:

HELLS ANGELS DOWNTOWN

Asylum Crew Oshawa

spank my what?

jewelgurl

www.jewelgurl.blogspot.com

because your picture needs a web address before it can be posted in your profile

i photoshopped and posted it here

WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR PANTIES?

text your answer to 1 900 spank-me

email answer and/or photos to futher.mucker@hotmail.com or post as a comment

don't make me come over there

what would jesus drive?

it amazes me what some people take seriously
like jesus as a means to pimp eco friendly transportation - god damn - smell that? that is the pungent aroma of fermented futility my friends - the noise of zealots...drunk on zeal..ripped to the teats on misplaced idealism - oh lord there's a lot of shit flying around these days...please don't let it get on me

http://whatwouldjesusdrive.org/

jesus drove the money changers out of the temple - but that's not what they're getting at here - silly bastards - jesus couldn't drive - he was an uncontrolled epileptic - he'd have to be driven everywhere - maybe in peter's vanity plated tricked out tinted up hummer, or in mathew's sensible echo, or maybe judas' 4x4 ford pick up

but only when he wasn't whorin' around with mary in the shaggin' wagon - go jesus go - go go go

like a picture to be hung on god's refrigerator door

Poetry is the art of creating imaginary gardens with real toads -- Marianne Moore

don't eat this poem

like the final moments of a rainbow

like a single flower

on a dying tree

waiting without knowing

i have been seduced by illusion

the adolescent mother of my expectations

mock me if you will

i want to breed miniature monkey's
not those "monkey-like" monkey's -------->

i'm talking the real thing
chimpanzees maybe orangutans
selective cross breeding a little gene manipulation

until we have a monkey the size of a guinea pig

we'll sell them in little cages at the flea market
feed them tiny bananas

shave them...oh yes sweetpants...we'll shave the little bastards i tell you...and dress them up...and build them little houses that match our own...we'll teach them to dance...and watch them fornicate...

i've shared this idea with a few people...and honestly...based on the response so far...this will likely be the last time i mention it publicly

visionaries before me have been mocked by those who thought they knew better...Jesus, Copernicus, Darwin, Hoffa

for investment opportunities and franchise information contact me at: mailto:futher.mucker@hotmail.com

world cup soccer

the fix is in folks
sweet jimmy's got the word

serious underdogs the tiny african country of TOGO will win the world cup of soccer

call your bookies
double up - cover your losses

voodoo has come to the game and you don't mess with that my friends

nothing sticks to you like voodoo
except maybe herpes which gets on you and doesn't come off

but then

there's no stopping some meanhearted voodoo priest with a cell phone, too much debt, and a bad bet on an underdog country from laying down some kinda filthy hex and throwing a nasty dose of herpes at an opposing team and anyone else who messes with TOGO's juju

there's a lot of credible news outlets reporting on this voodoo priest

google "Togbui Assiogbo Gnagblondjro"

he's in germany now (history of germany's colonization of TOGO)

chanting and stick shaking and putting his funk on outside the venue

soccer fans are worried

a german company is marketing it's own voodoo doll

you pin the flag of the country you want cursed on it

DO NOT BE FOOLED

this is amateur shit boys and girls

who do that voodoo? not the germans

take my advice - don't mess with the real deal

get with the TOGO voodoo priest and don't fuck around

GO SPARROWHAWKS

disclaimer: if the voodoo do not work this team doesn't stand a freakin chance

sweet jimmy gets a little pussy

i couldn't resist her...

introducing

Pepper Alondra

(this is juanita's fault - i fell in love with her pooey and crooked kitty)

children with guns - you know i'm all for it.

i don't worry about boys

she can look after herself...any exceptions will be

buried out back with the rest of the bodies.

bait?

yes it's that girl from the car commercials on TV - we call her bethany

how do you like your meat?

juanita perverto heats her meat on a stick

sweetjimmy knows how she likes her meat

where i am...

if you're talking to me and it looks like i'm not paying attention...i'm probably here.

fancy shooting...or not

(this is actually one of the bigger fish we catch)

check out the ingenuity on this chick

she manufactured a bobber from our wine cork

after i blew the real bobber to shitsville with the gun

it was some fine shooting to be sure but she was not impressed nonetheless

whatever

my kind of monkey - TCB

Trunk Monkey 4 Watch it now on StupidVideos!

separated at birth?