martes, agosto 16, 2011

a fools fool

to be kissed by a fool is stupid
to be fooled by a kiss
is worse

lunes, agosto 15, 2011

you can't change something that you don't understand

jueves, agosto 04, 2011

is ready to abandon the dream

hell and back
and back
back no charted course
no plan
just two wheels
and 1200cc of freedom
from being me without you
to walk hand in hand with decaying dreams
to let demons dance carelessly into the wind
to feel the loss
of something i never had

and ride
places i haven't been since i was a child


i remember your words
what they meant
how they felt

martes, agosto 02, 2011

never not always now

restless - an ache for more - wondering wandering no more wanting no more waiting no more wishes - bury the bastard that would cross you twice - for she is the meat in the sandwich that has made you sick - and tomorrow - will taste just like today

if you let it

lunes, agosto 01, 2011

amber to darkness

another day without you

feels more and more like just another day without you

though i believe somewhere sometimes


watches the day melt

into fading crimson and amber

as moment after moment

darkness steals the last of the day's warmth

and i believe that

you are there with me


domingo, julio 31, 2011

never forget

my regrets will wash away
but i'll never forget how i feel
right now
that feeling that you
are the worst thing that ever happened to me

lost little girls

what you are doing
so quickly
amid so many unknowns for all the wrong reasons
is the worst idea
in the long sad history
of bad ideas
as always
never listening
to the people who truly care about you
who have always been there for you at the worst of times
find themselves helpless
but to stand and watch you

justify rationalize dream and conjecture
what you feel others need to hear
to believe in you

all the while
happily for a time
lost in a world of make believe, being needed,
consumed by wayward hopes and little girl dreams

you are free to be beautiful
do what you want
do what makes you happy
and feel loved

good luck with that
i smell doom - and i know it well


i miss you

i detest you
and yet
i miss you so much
i detest me
as well

sábado, julio 30, 2011

not because you left - because of how you left...

you took from me
something i will never be able to give anyone else
and it was beautiful

martes, julio 26, 2011

i'll be what i am...

i've had it to here - being where love is a small word

a part time thing - a paper ring...

jueves, julio 21, 2011

prayer for difficult times

i am guilty lord, but i am also a lover
i am one of your best people as you know - yea though i have walked in many strange shadows - acted crazy from time to time - consumed excessively many sacred medicines -and lusted savagely with your high priestesses - i have not been an embarassment to you
so leave me alone goddamnit -i ache and i'm tired and i don't want any more of it
don't make me come up there - your humble and unwilling servant,
jimmy swinghammer xo

miércoles, julio 20, 2011


if you love something set it free...
just don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes

domingo, julio 17, 2011


i am a but a puppet in god's mishappen freakshow
dancing for change on the filthy sidewalks of life
dreaming everyday of another way
but dancing the same old dance nonetheless

sábado, julio 16, 2011

be what you are

once a dagger has pierced the heart
always a dagger it will be

viernes, julio 15, 2011


the day was heavy and hot with wrong - there was no escaping it - no shade - no breeze - nothing but the swarming fetid stink of regret hanging in the air like a wet fart with nowhere to go

miércoles, julio 13, 2011


as every new moon
passes through the night sky
and in his heart
he sincerely hopes
that as it brings back the ocean tides
it will also
bring you back to me

lunes, julio 11, 2011

darker days

a man walking through the forests and meadows of his memories listens to his heart break as he pauses to pick the wild flowers of his fondest moments
the sky above turns grey while winds of change and clouds of circumstance conspire to hide the sun that once shone brighter
just for him

viernes, julio 08, 2011


"it's a vvvvvery blustery day pooh" the voices said
and yet
like a madmad he stood silent
unfettered by any sense of decorum or or expectation to look even remotely sane
and for but a moment

he was free

jueves, julio 07, 2011


like a billion points of light

passing through the night sky

like the first time you looked at me that way

like the last time you looked at me that way

miércoles, julio 06, 2011

not what or why - how

it's not why
or what

it's how
that will hurt forever when my thoughts are of you

martes, julio 05, 2011

not by choice

finds himself with a heavy heart
and a head full of garbage

lunes, julio 04, 2011


sometimes the most intelligent of perspectives
is undeniably
placed before us by our own blood
and the innocence of unsophisticated instinct

domingo, julio 03, 2011

couldn't be better

well i'm fine
and thanks for asking
just woke up one morning and moved on
like every last moment we shared never happened
and every plan we ever made was never made
the meds kicked in
i pulled my socks up to my nuts
and suddenly
everywhere i go
pixie dust wafts from my arsehole

i couldn't

viernes, julio 01, 2011

never is always now

I have lived longer in the last thirteen years
than most people ever live in an entire life time
Hanging on and letting go
Hundred miles an hour in the middle of the darkest night
Head out the window
Headlights off
Jaw clenched tight
I have tasted and been tasted
I have died
And been reborn
Over and over
Laughed lived lusted
Fallen down
Fallen up
Indulged more sins than one man should have time to commit
my life is like sand
A billion tiny moments
Bound together by proximity
into a shapeless existence
Of fate
Cause and effect
too angry to hate tired to care strange to live and stupid to die
yesterday’s excuse
tomorrow’s reason
today's treason
too bad to be good
too good to be bad
and i know for certain
whether you believe it or not
that never is always now
and the worst is yet to come

miércoles, junio 22, 2011

i remember

when you were a nice person

lunes, junio 20, 2011


and when the slap finally came - it was only then i realized
i had no idea where i was
how long had i been asleep

domingo, junio 19, 2011

like it never happened

i watched you walk away without you knowing i was there - i longed to shout out - to see you turn and smile and wait for me - i ached for that feeling that held us together so tightly through so much
and instead
i just stood silent and watched you walk feeling like our yesterdays never happened - feeling like a familiar stranger to whom you'll never speak again
so i stood silently
without words
and just watched you walk away

sábado, junio 18, 2011

sometimes waking up is hard to do

i wake up everyday
feeling like
i never really meant anything
to you

jueves, junio 16, 2011

report card

has spent his life repeatedly binging like a rabid beast on forbidden experiences, stolen moments, and elusive dreams only to find himself invariably purging the rancidly indigestible delusions illusions and confusion left behind when reality returns to rule her unforgiving kingdom of truth
- insight is a terrible thing to waste-

domingo, junio 12, 2011

tell yourself whatever you like

reality is what it is despite your perceptions distortions and rationalizations

- the truth is not negotiable -

jueves, junio 09, 2011

martes, abril 05, 2011

2011 - float your fanny down the ganny - port hope

all sorts of pics from 2011's float your fanny down the ganny

Etiquetas: ,

lunes, enero 31, 2011

domingo, enero 30, 2011

and this reminds me

that it's time to back away from the fridge
and get back in the saddle
watch me go

sábado, enero 29, 2011

and i stood there

in my pyjamas
fingers frozen
locked into the most vivid of memories
almost feeling how it feels
to open up the throttle on the buellster down this particular stretch of back road
captivated by the thought
a sudden and penetrating breeze
caught me crisply by the nads
fucking winter

viernes, enero 28, 2011

jimmy swinghammer:

happily drinking from the fountain of harsh realities

damn - should NOT go riding in the snow

jueves, enero 27, 2011


had a dream
familiar moments faces feelings
beautiful in an ugly sort of way
ugly in a beautiful sort of way
a strange and wonderfully terrible dream
about mostly nothing
and little bits of everything

miércoles, enero 26, 2011


of course i'm happy
in fact
i'm so fucking happy
i shit rose petals
and piss sunshine

martes, enero 25, 2011

jueves, enero 20, 2011

this is funny - a friend of mine posted this on facebook today

martes, octubre 05, 2010

original street fighter - free online


it's a sad sort of irony
when people try to kill themselves
by overdosing
on the pills that are supposed to help them

domingo, octubre 03, 2010

i find this to be a pleasant sort of anarchy

sábado, octubre 02, 2010

shit is getting kinda fucked up

viernes, septiembre 25, 2009

sweet jimmy swinghammer

rides again

domingo, julio 26, 2009

never really thought i'd say this...

you can catch me on facebook
jimmy swinghammer
it's not the same
but i like it
for now

viernes, julio 17, 2009

parenting with perspective ain't easy

A father
passing by his son's bedroom
was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was tidy
Then he saw an envelope on the pillow addressed to "Dad"
with great apprehension he opened the letter and read:
-Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you this note
I had to elope with my new girlfriend
I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
i've found true love with Stacy
she is so nice
But I knew you would not approve of her
because of all her piercings and tattoos
her tight clothes
and the fact
that she is much much older than I am
and she's pregnant
Stacy says that we will be very happy
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter
We share a dream of having many more children
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact
that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone
We'll be growing it for ourselves
and trading it with the other people that live nearby
for cocaine and ecstasy
In the meantime we will pray
that science will find a cure for AIDS
so Stacy can get better
She deserves it
Don't worry Dad.
I'm 15
and I know how to take care of myself now
I'm sure that we will be back to visit
so that you can get to know your grandchildren
Love always,
Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true.
I'm over at Tommy's house.
I Just wanted to remind you that
there are worse things in life
than a bad Report card
it's in my center desk drawer
I love you.
-Call me when it's safe to come

jueves, julio 16, 2009

evolution of the penis

it's been said that a man's penis
has a mind of it's own
it would seem
that this ugly old penis
has grown legs too

miércoles, julio 15, 2009

dammit man - that's not right

lunes, julio 13, 2009

mental health matters - your brain

we think with it right
but don't think about it so much
so let's think about this
the brain
it's an organ in the body
it has a vital role
a profound perfunctory purpose
it weighs about three pounds
three pounds of primarily water and fat
it doesn't just keep your heart beating
it mitigates
any awareness you have of the world around you
is because you have a brain
every wish every hope every desire
every smile every laugh every feeling
every regret every sadness every disappointment
every sensation
every movement
mitigated by your brain
it interprets facilitates enables overrides underwrites
determines supposes surmises perceives organizes
relates regulates mobilizes monitors translates
it perceives
the world around us
our experiences
the experiences of others
and stores fragments of each unique complex moment
to sort catalogue reference and interrelate
constructs of understanding
belief structures
protective mechanisms
and response patterns
it allows us to be connected to each other in the present
it is what connects us to our past
and determines our future
life is what it is
because of how this organ
our brain
we rarely think of it
much less
think of it as an organ
just like the other organs we rely on
day in day out
if your stomach hurts
if your eyes get blurry
if you can't breathe
it doesn't diminish you as a person
you seek professional help
for some reason
when happiness fades
when anger irritability anxiety invade
and so much more about the world seems unpleasant
when feelings of self worth erode
when pleasure wanes
and thoughts race
when the little things become big things
when hopelessness helplessness and despair visit
but rarely leave
when these things persist
in an unnatural
what's wrong with me sort of way
we don't often seek help
we blame others
we blame ourselves
we wait
we need
we hurt
the brain is an organ
very like every other organ
and as such it is susceptible
to alterations affecting optimal performance
things like
bad chemistry
distorted constructs
counter productive protective mechanisms
so maybe
it's not a character flaw to be defensive or ashamed about
it's not weakness
it's not the world
it's just your brain
being an organ
it's time to get help

viernes, julio 10, 2009

algonquin park too

miércoles, julio 08, 2009

algonquin park

lunes, julio 06, 2009

rock lake - algonquin park

sábado, julio 04, 2009

17 000 words i don't have to write

about the breanna and i camping
in algonquin park

and then
diana and emily and dave and meg
and mason arrived