jueves, julio 31, 2008

orono, ontario - toronto without the t's and sounds a lot like porno - part deux


no trip to orono, ontario
is complete without a visit to
the mill pond, orono park, roller coaster road
and the village bake shop
my mom used to work there when i was a kid
i was glad for it too
the stuff she brought home - a kaleidoscope
of pastries, sweet sticky buns, desert squares, and homemade cookies
fills my mind
-
i crave meat these days
but for years
i was the kinda guy
that went to the desert table first
i blame the village bake shop
-
which i forgot
closes down for a period of time in the summer
for holidays
everyone goes
they don't cut back or go off at different times
one or two at a time
hire summer help
nope
they shut her down
when we got there the air was fresh and clear
there wasn't a single bun to be smelt
-
so we smelled old books and vinyl in the antique shop instead
perused a consignment shop
which appeared to have a strange abundance
and availability
of glue
yellow tubes of airplane glue
-
it's the
squeeze it in a paper bag
inhale deeply
get hooked
do it all the time for awhile
say "wha" alot
and drool all over yourself
for the rest of your life
kinda glue
-
right there
under the register
at the front counter
beside the kids stuff

now maybe i'm wrong - for the inferences i draw from these observations and this knowledge

maybe orono is a hobbycraft mecca

with the kind of unusually high demand for modelling glue that would validate why this strange little store sees the need to carry it much less keep it right up front

personally - i bought a leonard choen novel - i prefer mescalin to glue any day man

-

there's another store front dope peddler on main street too

i'm sure you've heard the saying - the first hit's free

after that you're buying well - we bought - yes we did

a pound and a half of nicely packed fudge

orono, ontario - toronto without the t's and sounds a lot like porno


orono
jungle cat world

lions, tigers, panthers, lynx
and monkeys wolves, meercats, otters
peacocks, parrots, pretty gurls

and
goats

lots of goats - and i warned our guests to be careful

because once you make friends with a goat

it's near impossible to unmake that friendship

and once they know you have food


forget about it



they will follow you anywhere

and everywhere

and
they don't really get the concept of

"all gone"


uncle ticklemewhere says this cat

reminds him of jewelgurl - on their honeymoon

-
brooke, alley: your momma is definitely a llama-stalker

-


emily didn't want the family of geese in our picture

so she told them to flock off

and they flocked off


in fact they flocked off

with a degree of suddeness

that seemed to effect jewelgurl and uncle ticklemewhere

in the exact same strange and similar way

---

more orono coming soon

bake shoppe

not just chocolate

sniffing glue and other fun stuff

miércoles, julio 30, 2008

hey dude that's MY fantasy world - please step away from the lesbians

text message from
diana diana diana beautiful diana:
-
im sittin with 2 hot lesbians
talking about riding harleys
and shiftn ur gears
-
somehow my girlfriend has managed
to inhabit
the imaginary world
i created for myself
-
excellent
excellent
**insert sinister laugh**

martes, julio 29, 2008

killer snake

the snake is getting big
at this rate
we'll be able to feed it people
piece by piece
around this time next year





lunes, julio 28, 2008

weeeeee!!!!!


domingo, julio 27, 2008

"there she goes"

it's a gusher!!!! she said
as the pierced soda can began to squirt everywhere
and without hesitation
diana diana diana
beautiful diana
seemed to know just what to do

it's a sexy sort of instinct

and a nifty bit of problem-solving

sábado, julio 26, 2008

photo update: my gurls and the boobah

everyone's getting prettier
'cept jimmy

viernes, julio 25, 2008

are you looking at my balls?

jimmy doesn't
mind
take a good long look



jueves, julio 24, 2008

ewwwww - sweet jimmy rides again

been sitting in silence
for a spell
metaphorically humping my fist
well
sometimes metaphorically anyways
-
dancing
with circumstance
while misery flirts from the darkness
wanting to kiss me with slobbery lips
-
but
it's time at last
to dust off the synapses
wash off the stink that will wash off
and spit in the eye of the beholder
because beauty isn't what you've been led to believe it is
and goddammit
i
feel
beautiful
-
bend over fiends - i'm driving

sweet jimmy rides again