celebrating 2007 in cesarea - sweet jimmy style

jimmy swinghammer loves the gurls - and the gurls love jimmy

and if a thing is worth doing - god damn it it's worth doing right

friends fireworks jello shooters children playing poker for money loud music champagne love laughs hugs kisses birthday wishes lucky lager 12 year old scotch and tequila blunt blunders

but most important of all - family

is this the face of a boy who's losing his allowance?

...

more 13's

read the bible some time just for fun

jesus had it right - but christianity is something else altogether

...

1 corinthians - 13:13

...but the greatest of these is

LOVE

boxing day blowout!!!

there's an obscene pun waiting in the wings
something about filling boxes

wrapping and unwrapping

...
but you know what
i'm not going to go there

...
oops
sorta did didn't i

it wouldn't be christmas without chaos

for whom
would you put aside fear

no questions asked

and suckle from the barbed nipple of danger

mary christmas saraw

christmas eve

wrapped some gifts and took it easy at home

...
with unseasonably beautiful weather
we took a relaxing sunset walk through stephen's gulch

me the daughter and the dog
...
then we dropped in on grandma and grandpa
who decided we should go out for christmas eve dinner

so we did and it was good - badaboombadabing - i like the new east side mario's menu

watched a movie and got the daughter tucked into bed

...

then i looked all over for the poem i wrote several years ago called the "madness of santa" - can't find it - i know it's in one of the many folders i have full of typed thoughts and hand written gibberish - when i find it i'll post it - if you have a copy let me know

...

and to all - a good night

it's beginning to look a lot like christmas

time will tell

time

is the only judge, jury,

and executioner

christmas cookie exchange

in exchange for baking 7 pans of brownies with burbon drizzle

i got rum balls, raspberry bars, shortbread, molasses cookies, peanut butter thingys, and two more treats yet to be named because mr americo and shawnigan haven't brought in their booty yet

-

yummy.

quotable quotes

jason statham's character in the Transporter

that cute chick shows up again
in the backseat of a car he's stolen

he says:

you're like dogshit
you're everywhere

the jimmy's

i've been told there's too many pics of me wearing a toque lately

so here's another one

god - i'm so like that

-

get your own big red machine toque

-

jimmy going toqueless

jimmy working it touqueless

-

this could be just another shamefully self promotional photo of sweet jimmy swinghammer for you to print, frame and keep beside your bed

or

it could be a clever and valid segue type transition to anther point of interest

-

go rent the 1950's classic movie - Harvey

the other jimmy - sweet jimmy stewart - playing mr. elwood p. dowd - sweet like syrup and butter on pancakes

the movie is about mental illness and beyond it's humour offers a strong message about tolerance and acceptance

harvey was originally a pulitzer prize winning play

elwood's sister's asylum experience is pure gold

watch it ok

pooka pooka pooka

what are you sayin' jimmy?

i'm saying

hello brown betty blunt

making my brain

all smokey

and my karma

okee dokey

fee fie fokey

so smokey

ha!

dog bless you

we've been all over
this dog and i

i've found a new blonde bitch to mountain bike with

the orono crown lands
stephen's gulch
long sault
the fishing pond in kendal
the ganaraska forest
the orchard behind my parent's house

good for the soul
solitude and sunshine
good for my ass too
up and down all those hills

seriously - feel it

my ass is fabulous

christmas at primitive designs

20% off the lowest ticketed price on everything

primitive designs - a multi-faith place of worship

putting the christ in

"jesus christ i have to get this goddamn christmas shopping done"

hindu's, buddah and muslims in the house too

...

or

maybe you prefer to worship the blessed sanctity of man-boy love

i think this 35 foot wood carving should be on your wish list

don't just look at it - look at it carefully - ewwwww

...

see no evil - hear no evil - and keep your fuckin' mouth shut - cause i know where you live

don't just sit there - go to primitive designs - get me something funky dammit

stones throw pub and grill

located on top of the hill

highway 57 just south of highway 2

in the mac's/video king plaza

...

...

sweet jimmy says

order the warmed goat cheese with jalapeno peppers and sundried tomato served with pita slices for dippin'

it's warm it's hot it's goat it's good

get it

...

nice fireplace - some creative seating

could use a couple topless servers and maybe some dancing midgets in cages wearing pink monkey suits - you don't get enough of that sort of thing in bowmanville

but

i'm gonna recommend the place anyway

905-623-0111

watch me dance

dancing man of endless transition

delicately balanced on an eroding fulcrum of faith

carefully aligned

carelessly maligned

dancing madly through hopes and dreams

suffocating on circumstance

and feeling rather

funny

all of a sudden

running to stand still

waiting as fast as i can

delicately balanced

dancing

man

oh my dog

no one has looked this comfortable in gramma's chair
since my grandma Isabelle-Patience sat in it

i miss my grandma - she lived with us when i was a kid

i spent most of my childhood with her - i was never an only child because i always had my grandma

she was a special soul - i wish i could know her now - as an adult - hear her stories again - listen to her laugh - see that look she used to have for every right and every wrong

she used to ask ask me about all sorts of things she knew i liked but knew nothing about herself - though she was a very smart lady - like when i was a hockey goalie and she would ask me if i scored any "ghouls" - she knew nothing about the "hockeying" - but she always asked - and she always listened - she could knit and crochet and preserve and fix and sew - i remember quilting stuff all over the basement - and the quilts fully handmade were beautiful

i was only a little older than breanna when she died

from what i remember she was real good people - and i miss her

...

this wasn't easy to write at all - lots of pauses

emotional - memories from far away and under

for sure this is not what i set out to write - this was to be a much simpler piece of tripe

really

it was supposed to be about the dog - this dog farts a lot - A LOT - long and loud sometimes - and then she'll groan a long disdainful groan - lazily lift her head up - remove her nose from her arse and look at me like she's a little put out by the whole ordeal

that is what this rant was supposed to be about

but

the dog sitting in my grandma's chair reminded me that my grandma could fart almost as long as you could laugh - and the more she laughed the more she farted - "oh my oh my" she'd say "oh my? isn't that a corker" and we'd start to laugh as these fart monsters took on a life of their own and sounded as though they might never stop

i hardly ever laugh that hard anymore

god bless you smelly dog - thanks for the trip

the annual children's xmas party

i'm the craft guy

but really

i'm nothing without my assistants and their assistance

thank-you six times

(click here for this year's craft)
...

entertainment was excellent again

the science dude was making things pop flash fly foam and funny

the great thing about this show is the participation ratio

there was alot of opportunity to do as well as watch

the kids loved it

...

...

and then - after a couple of christmas carols

the little fat man himself strolled in

sweet jimmy makin' sure santa ain't an ass grabber

he's alright

hey student

psych student
from sudbury
via peterborough
pimping pints at frosty john's

everything means something

psychology
the science of being human and somewhat humane
the study of choices we make
consequences we live
cause and effect

the circles we create
in a world we think is linear

and

you have beautiful eyes
even in dim light

tell me story

it's good to have a reason

it's good to have a reason
to get out
among the trees
and walk through the leaves

...

maya maya maya

the limited

purely physical and mental reality

the everyday consciousness that has entangled our spirit

...

that the world is like a dream

and there is nothing in it

which is yours

...

only the illusion is real

...

in sanskrit - the oldest known language - this is what maya meant to hindu and dharmic philosophers

illusion

...

a timely message

sudden wisdom

thank god

karma dog

...

maya is a very good name

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

over here

shhhhhhhhhh

yeah

over here

yeah

here

hiding

among the normal

invisible

forgotten

neglected

thankful

shhhhhhhhh

i'm not one of them

yeah

over here

pets pets pets - an update

it was a rough year as our collection of pets got old

first we had to relieve jordi of his earthly suffering
we rescued him from the pound 13 years ago
and he was such a very very good dog
we miss him so much

then the goldfish went belly up

and finally buster the immortal guinea pig
gave it up for greener pastures
i miss him squealing when i say "hey pig"
and he'd always come out to see me when i was cooking
looking for left overs
we rescued him from an unhappy home
and he lived a long long happy life

after that
the kitten we had since june went on tour
our black cat stuck around for halloween
and then checked out of the hotel chez swinghammer

so if you do the math

we're left with the snail

and the bird which still has no name other than - bird
bird loves to chill in the kitchen with me and my friends
chattering away while we talk
...

*UPDATE*

our newest addition

Sweet Miss Maya Dawg

she's beautiful affectionate happy and smart - sleeps at the foot of breanna's bed - loves to run through the forest off the leash - comes when i call her - and makes the meanest big dog noise when people pull in the driveway or come to the door - i think she's going to fit in just fine - our sincere thanks to the family that had grown too busy with a growing family to give her the attention she needs - we know you'll miss her

the whole point

it's

how

we

become

...

never free

from the obsession

with thought

...

never free

nothing is free

nobody rides for free

even on the brightest of days

...

dancing with shadows next to the fire

...

nobody rides for free

never free

from the obsession of shadowy thoughts

...

it's not supposed to be simple

complicated is the whole point

...

isn't it?

...

a reality with more questions

than answers

because

there's darkness in details

...

dancing with shadows next to the fire

...

never free

from the obsession

of thought

...

complicated is the whole point

...

it's how we learn

...

it's how we

become

christmas tree ornaments for bad guys

click picture for city news story

santa rings the doorbell at our house

we don't call 911

spin

No good ever came from a life that was a simple one
So spin a little more
little more little more
Spin a little more
On the devils dance floor
Life is always sweet
Sweeter than it ought to be
and

Maybe there’s no hope
No hope that good will ever come of me
But life is always sweet
So

spin a little more
little more little more
Spin

just a little more

On the devils dance floor

believe hope faith