a taste of tarantino - thnx jill

The Tarantino Mixtape from Eclectic Method on Vimeo.

shoreline adventure - hacienda tres rios mexico

tequila sunrises - mexico

vacation nappin'

hacienda andalucia and esperanza - mexico

at

hacienda andalucia

two nights per week

they put on an extravagant equine show/mexican fiesta

called

hacienda nights

we went during the day for trail riding instead
and had the place to ourselves we rode through inland trails

and the abandoned streets of old cancun

where people lived back in the day

when the coastal areas were unsafe

because of pirates

after a decent ride our guide - "cowboy" - formerly a sinaloan drug cartel marijuana grower - signaled to a camera and took us through a huge security gate into the fortified sanctuary of hacienda la esperanza

jimmy says: oddly enough it doesn't matter where you go in this world my fiends - there's always some guy named "cowboy" who will offer in his cryptic way to get you "anything" you'd like gotten

historically a refuge for those on the run looking to start a new life

eperanza means hope

it smelled like money to me

and resembled something of a narco-estate

cowboy denied this

but then

i expected him to - he's sinaloan

and

people with the big mouth don't live long in sinaloathe horse a pictured above is worth more than a quarter of a million dollars and was previously owned by the king of spain

it is one of only two horses this distinct and valuable in all of mexico - and get this - his bloodline is so ancient, pure and exclusive that there is a micro-chip implanted on his nuts for security purposes

with a special scanner they can tell if he's been whacked off by some pervert looking to make a million bucks selling stallion goo on the black market
-

they start putting this kinda technology to use in people

it would put an end to men fucking around on their wives

-

more than just horses - epseranza is both interesting and beautiful

with an aviary of exotic birds, a couple of monkeys (do not make kissy face noises at them - in their natural habitat this is threatening behavior - they will hiss and show you their teeth)

there's a small mayan temple, extraordinary architecture and unique statues

it was a relaxing break

after which

we rode back to hacienda andaluciafor a refreshing swim

and some lunch

before heading back to tres rios

easily the best horseback riding experience i've ever had

tres rios mexico - we were entertained

musica musica

-
it's everywhere at tres rios

-

it echos off marble floors and huge domed ceilings

as the self playing grand piano

plays with itself

in the main lobby area

-
-

spanish influenced classics

drift unobtrusively

throughout the gardens and pool area

-

there was live entertainment at the bar

-

horn ensembles - sax players

a flutist

and a variety of mariachi type entertainers

were randomly scattered throughout our vacation

-

it was apparent at times

that some people

can't handle fermented agave and music together

(go easy gramps - the tongue action is a bit creepy)

-

we enjoyed

traditional mayan drums

accompanying warrior dancers

all boom boom booming and chanting

and jumping and running

and stuff

this is me getting stared down

by a stone cold non-peta supporting mayan warrior dancer type guy weilding a monkey on a stick

yes

a monkey on a stick

that's a hollowed out monkey carcass from a real monkey

on that stick

he said something in spanish that i didn't fully understand but i think he threatened to poke me in the eye with that dirty thing

and then they abducted my family

-

there were fire dancers too

sexy sexy fire dancers

with the drums and the tecno music and the fire

it was a great show

and we were entertained

in fact

emily was so entertained she cried

genuinely and angrily

demanding they do the show over again once it was finished

but they didn't

so

we went back to our room

and ordered

cheese cake and creme brule and tiramisu from room service

and that was great too