orono, ontario - toronto without the t's and sounds a lot like porno - part deux

no trip to orono, ontario

is complete without a visit to

the mill pond, orono park, roller coaster road
and the village bake shop

my mom used to work there when i was a kid

i was glad for it too

the stuff she brought home - a kaleidoscope

of pastries, sweet sticky buns, desert squares, and homemade cookies

fills my mind

-

i crave meat these days

but for years

i was the kinda guy

that went to the desert table first

i blame the village bake shop

-

which i forgot

closes down for a period of time in the summer

for holidays

everyone goes

they don't cut back or go off at different times

one or two at a time

hire summer help

nope

they shut her down

when we got there the air was fresh and clear

there wasn't a single bun to be smelt

-

so we smelled old books and vinyl in the antique shop instead

perused a consignment shop

which appeared to have a strange abundance

and availability

of glue

yellow tubes of airplane glue

-

it's the

squeeze it in a paper bag

inhale deeply

get hooked

do it all the time for awhile
say "wha" alot

and drool all over yourself

for the rest of your life

kinda glue

-

right there

under the register

at the front counter

beside the kids stuff

now maybe i'm wrong - for the inferences i draw from these observations and this knowledge

maybe orono is a hobbycraft mecca

with the kind of unusually high demand for modelling glue that would validate why this strange little store sees the need to carry it much less keep it right up front

personally - i bought a leonard choen novel - i prefer mescalin to glue any day man

-

there's another store front dope peddler on main street too

i'm sure you've heard the saying - the first hit's free

after that you're buying well - we bought - yes we did

a pound and a half of nicely packed fudge

orono, ontario - toronto without the t's and sounds a lot like porno

orono

jungle cat world

lions, tigers, panthers, lynx

and monkeys wolves, meercats, otters

peacocks, parrots, pretty gurls

and

goats

lots of goats - and i warned our guests to be careful

because once you make friends with a goat

it's near impossible to unmake that friendship

and once they know you have food

forget about it

they will follow you anywhere

and everywhere

and
they don't really get the concept of

"all gone"

uncle ticklemewhere says this cat

reminds him of jewelgurl - on their honeymoon

-
brooke, alley: your momma is definitely a llama-stalker

-

emily didn't want the family of geese in our picture

so she told them to flock off

and they flocked off

in fact they flocked off

with a degree of suddeness

that seemed to effect jewelgurl and uncle ticklemewhere

in the exact same strange and similar way

---

more orono coming soon

bake shoppe

not just chocolate

sniffing glue and other fun stuff

hey dude that's MY fantasy world - please step away from the lesbians

text message from

diana diana diana beautiful diana:

-

im sittin with 2 hot lesbians

talking about riding harleys

and shiftn ur gears

-

somehow my girlfriend has managed

to inhabit

the imaginary world

i created for myself

-

excellent

excellent

**insert sinister laugh**

killer snake

the snake is getting big

at this rate

we'll be able to feed it people

piece by piece

around this time next year

weeeeee!!!!!

"there she goes"

it's a gusher!!!! she said

as the pierced soda can began to squirt everywhere

and without hesitation

diana diana diana

beautiful diana

seemed to know just what to do

it's a sexy sort of instinct

and a nifty bit of problem-solving

photo update: my gurls and the boobah

everyone's getting prettier

'cept jimmy

are you looking at my balls?

jimmy doesn't

mind

take a good long look

ewwwww - sweet jimmy rides again

been sitting in silence

for a spell

metaphorically humping my fist

well

sometimes metaphorically anyways

-

dancing

with circumstance

while misery flirts from the darkness

wanting to kiss me with slobbery lips

-

but

it's time at last

to dust off the synapses

wash off the stink that will wash off

and spit in the eye of the beholder

because beauty isn't what you've been led to believe it is

and goddammit

i

feel

beautiful

-

bend over fiends - i'm driving

sweet jimmy rides again