annual family christmas bbq

almost every year

our tribe gathers

at my parent's house

where we watch ourselves collectively get older

and sometimes

maybe

wiserit's a smokin' good time

-

and for those who think it really matters in some way

that i refer to such things on this blog

that is not a marijuana inference

-

it's all about the burgers

with a side order of free speech

i digress

we feast on beast
and a selection of salads

but it's mostly about the kids

they frolick in dad's creek looking for interesting flora and fauna

catching anything that moves

and we fill bags with a $2 gift from each person for every child

it's a lot of loot

a bag full of wows, neats, cools, and ususally a couple whats?

they absolutely love it

childrens toys $2 each

mainlining on a pure hit of innocent materialism induced joy

priceless

then there's that pinata business

and the sugar fix to take the edge off the festivus giftus withdrawl

it's got that classic christmas rhythm

and sweet jimmy

knowing what withdrawl is all about

brought a jumpin castle

to burn up all that sugar

adults exchange gifts and stories

like this arlington classic

about answering the question

what's a "humdinger" grandpa

aunt doris, bless her

lives with his nonsense

and knew where this "humdinger" business was heading

tried momentarily to halt the story claiming children we're present

but unc was already wound up and trying to stop at that point

would be like asking moose to stop the rut

aunt joan put her umbrella up
because she knows when arly is telling a story

shit will surly fly in all directions

-

the story went on

building our interest

until it reveals

that he told them

a "humdinger"

is when a woman's breasts are large enough

to throw over her shoulders

"that's a humdinger" he says

"what did he say"

even the people

who have known the man all their lives

looked at one another

and those who haven't known him all that long

tried to make sense of this thing

but it wasn't about that thing at all

he had shared this colorful anecdote with his grandchildren

and he cautioned them about repeating such a thing

and even went so far as to suggest they shouldn't

but they did

as as their mom and dad came home

right away for god's sake

and the entire point had surprisingly little to do

with the anatomical acrobatics of mommy flesh

interesting as that is

it was simply

you shouldn't trust children with discretion

it's not something they can be reliable about

and that's a fact.

the kinda fact in fact

that would usually...

lead to another story.