because that's the way i am

I’ve felt a lot of powerful things in the last thirteen years or so

With an assortment of different people

In a lot of different ways

For any number of different reasons

...

But tonight

It was like I walked alone for the first time
So many stars

The air so still

My sense of being

interconnected

With stillness and quiet and depth
Alone

Aware

Unforgiven

Unrepentant

Beneath unending darkness and a billion points of light

...

so I smoked a blunt

Peach cognac

...

because
that’s the way I am
...

and I stopped at frosty john’s

for a shot of tequila

and a rickard’s red

...

after which

I wandered anonymously back into the darkness

leaving a rather large tip

as thanks for being left alone

unmolested by small talk

while life

my life

lay before me

one more time

...

as i stepped beneath the awesome darkness

of tonight's beautiful sky

...

I felt it
...

unmistakably

...

I feel it

...

a powerful need

to laugh

to learn

to live

to be real

...

and like the animal i've become

I could howl into that darkness

at each of those billion points of light

because

perspective is everything

and

this is not what I had planned for me
this is not how I wanted things to be

and the world can be a funny place

when our perception of it

is obscured by our expectations

...

but

it is what it is

this thing i feel

...
and I feel it

like a billion points of light

...

And I'm ready

For as long as it might last
For now

For never

Forever
For as long as it might last

Because

it feels like the right thing to do

for right now

and

that's just the way I am